Is there any hope in the end..?

“Where will you go to first??” I showed the young woman who almost sold her little van to us over a month ago, a picture of the bigger van that we were going to buy last weekend.

“Wooow!”

After declining her little van in the end because we knew we were going to regret the size of it, we kept on looking for vans that were slightly bigger and perhaps even older (easier to repair it ourselves and thus cheaper). “Well…” I continued: “The old van is going to function as our home. Our actual house. Destination unimportant and unsure. We’re beyond excitement for not having to “live” life like prisoners anymore. We can do our own groceries outside of a city and can live outside a time schedule. We can be outside during daytime instead of nighttime. We can be in nature. Everywhere is going to be less busy and noisy and smelly than here. All that sudden freedom is going to be overwhelming. Not driving for such a long time may be even more overwhelming for my man: he used to drive every single day and even that would sometimes give him anxiety. But since there’s so much rules and so many people in our country and no nature, we will for sure leave this country. We don’t belong here and have had many problems in the past regarding our old camper. We will drive to over the border and take it slow. Take it day by day “.
Our hearts are beating harder and faster even though we’re stationary.

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